Lily's Choice
by Elle Elliott
Summary: Told from Lily Evans's point of view, this tells of her story from the end of sixth to the end of seventh year of Hogwarts. She is struggling with family, friends, the war, and of course, a new James Potter. She has to decide what is important and how she will face adulthood once she is past the sheltered life she leads at Hogwarts.
1. Endings and Beginnings

Endings and Beginnings

A cool June breeze curled over Lily's face as she leaned over the balcony, breathing deeply. The stuffy atmosphere of the party raging in the Gryffindor common room below had driven her outside to seek fresh air. She leaned against the railing, sipping her butterbeer and lost in thought when she was interrupted by a giggly voice.

"Lils! You'll never guess what just happened!" Marlene Smith cried gleefully. "Ooh, it was amazing!"

Lily turned around at the interruption to see her friend smiling broadly. She couldn't help but also smile, asking, "Well, what was it?"

"David Vance kissed Emmeline! They were talking in the corner when he finally just swooped in and did it! Oh, and I do believe they disappeared soon after that," Marlene finished slyly.

"I can't believe it! Emmeline thought she'd never get her chance before the end of the year!"

"Oh, I know! I'm going to go find Dorcas to tell her too. Bye!" Marlene rushed away, back into the throng of people dancing.

Lily waved her on, then turned back to the balcony. Her thoughts lingered on Emmeline and David for a moment, who had apparently joined Alice and Frank in the world of happy couples. Lily had not had a steady boyfriend yet, even though she had dated Randy Jones from Ravenclaw a bit at the beginning of the year. He had turned out to be a complete nightmare, becoming very jealous of any boy who tried to talk to Lily. Since then, she, along with her friends Mary, Dorcas, Emmeline, and Marlene, had remained single for most of sixth year. She'd never thought about it much, but since Petunia had gotten engaged a month ago, her mind couldn't help but wonder if she was destined to find love. It seemed like no guys noticed her. Even James Potter had ceased his unrequited declarations of love to instead chase other girls. Lily sighed ruefully. _I need to get rid of these depressing thoughts. Honestly, you're supposed to be enjoying a party. Maybe a cute boy wandered in while I was up here…_

Turning to leave, Lily was nearly knocked over by one James Potter practically running onto her balcony, face flushed and hair a wild mess. "Hey!" she cried out, irritated. "What in the world are you doing?"

James leaned over the railing, breathing hard and attempting to readjust his clothes and glasses. He looked up at Lily as though he hadn't realized she was there.

"Ooh, hey there, Evans. I, uh, came to escape Sirius's singing." James tried to look innocent, but Lily was having none of it.

"Oh, _really_ ," she scoffed. "I seem to remember you frequently encouraging Sirius to sing late at night. Loudly. I can't see you getting bothered by it now." She glared at him pointedly. "What is it, Potter?"

James sighed, then reluctantly admitted, "I'm trying to avoid Claire. She's convinced we should get back together."

Lily stifled a laugh. _Poor James Potter, hiding from one of his many exes_. Trying to muster up a sympathetic look, she asked, "But didn't you break up a while ago? Surely you have some new girlfriend to prove her wrong."

At that, James's cheeks flushed darker. He muttered, "Well, no, not exactly." Lily's surprise must've registered on her face, for then he continued, "What's it to you, Evans?"

"Nothing! It just seems like you've dated a new girl practically every month this year, and now you're staying single? I'm merely noting a pattern, is all."

James pretended to look hurt. "I didn't come here to be mocked by you, Evans. Besides, shouldn't you be inside, enjoying the party? I heard from a little bird that there's going to be a big surprise later…" He winked at Lily as she huffed and left James alone on the balcony, where she caught a last glimpse of him slumped against the railing.

Lily was a bit puzzled by James's behavior regarding Claire, but soon put it out of her mind upon rejoining her friends, who were clustered in the middle of the dancing area (which was little more than the area with the least amount of furniture to get in the way), gyrating wildly to some wizarding pop music. But she had scarcely been there more than ten minutes when James's surprise announced itself.

Small explosions of golden glitter and miniature dragon fireworks burst from all around the room. Many poured straight down from the ceiling, lighting up the whole room in a glow and showering people in gold. Others launched from beneath furniture, often hitting an unsuspecting partygoer in the butt. Although usually disapproving of the pranks James and his friends put together, there really no harm done and Lily couldn't help but shake with laughter as Sirius turned a chair just right so that a firework launched right at Peter Pettigrew's chest and splattered him with sparkles.

Unfortunately, soon after the loud explosions began, McGonagall arrived to break up the festivities. Despite it being the end of the year, she didn't show any mercy as she Vanished the remaining fireworks, glitter, and food someone had pilfered from the kitchens. Many of the students groaned in disappointment, but everyone quickly went to bed rather than risk a detention on the last days of term.

Lily reluctantly dragged herself up the stairs to her dormitory along with her friends. She hadn't realized that it was nearly two in the morning, and she had early morning prefect duties the next day. She flopped onto her squishy bed and promptly fell asleep.

xxxxxxx

Lily was awoken by a violent shaking, courtesy of Dorcas. She blearily opened her eyes, only to squeeze them shut again because of the bright sunlight streaming through the window.

"Mmmmrghh. Whaaa…" she mumbled vaguely.

"Remus has been shouting up here for five minutes! He says you're going to be late for…"

"Lost and Found duty," Mary interjected.

"Yeah. That," Dorcas said. "We all want him to shut up and also you need to get up, so hurry!"

Lily jolted awake once she realized what was going on, and could faintly hear Remus's intermittent yelling for her to come down. "Crap, crap, crap. I _knew_ I would do this… jeez, where is my cloak?" She rummaged about, still blinking the sleep out of her eyes.

Marlene leaned over from her bed, throwing Lily her cloak. "Here, just use mine. Now go downstairs quickly, and kindly tell Remus to _shut up_."

Lily nodded her thanks, slipped on shoes, wrapped her hair up in a bun and stabbed it with her wand, and ran downstairs. Thankfully, she had slept in her clothes, so at least she wasn't in her pyjamas, and now she had Marlene's cloak. It swished on the floor around her since Marlene was a good four inches taller, which wasn't a big deal until Lily caught her foot on the hem and tripped.

It was almost an out-of-body experience. Lily saw herself fall down three stairs, right into Sirius, which knocked her off her feet and into James, who caught her. They had been chatting with Remus while he waited for her, who had fortunately stepped back and not been hit by Lily as she flailed down the stairs.

Lily stumbled to get her balance as she quickly realized that James had his arms halfway around her. She wriggled out of his grip and turned away, cheeks flushed red from embarrassment.

"Well, that was a _spectacular_ entrance, Evans. Feel free to do an encore," Sirius drawled. He looked unruffled by Lily slamming into him a moment ago.

She whipped around and glared at him angrily. "Shut it, Black."

Remus chuckled lightly. "I wouldn't cross her in this state, Pads. I believe she could beat you up if provoked further."

Sirius merely raised an eyebrow. Lily shot him one last ugly look and then glanced at Remus.

"Ready to go, then?"

Before Remus could say anything, James interrupted. "But are you sure you're all right, Evans? You wouldn't want to go falling into anyone else's arms. Why, if you do it to poor Remus, he might just fall over!"

"I'm _perfectly_ fine. In fact, I'd feel great if we could just get on with our assignment?" This was accompanied by a pointed look at Remus. He got the hint and smiled apologetically at his mates, then followed Lily out the portrait hole and towards McGonagall's classroom.

xxxxxxx

About fifteen minutes into the tedious task of sorting lost Gryffindor objects by type, magical properties, importance, and so on, Remus struck up a friendly conversation with Lily. They talked about their goals in life, plans for school next year and such. Suddenly Lily felt pressed to ask him about something she'd wondered for a while.

"Remus, why _do_ you hang out with James and Sirius? I mean, you're smart, and more relaxed, and you don't antagonize people incessantly. I just don't get it."

Remus laughed quietly. "It does seem strange, doesn't it, that we ended up together. But James and Sirius… they're also incredibly clever, and they are some of the most loyal and deeply caring people I know, despite their several layers of snark and ego covering it. I… don't have a great home life, and they're always there for me when times are tough. And while it may seem like I'm the boring voice of reason sometimes, I really enjoy planning the pranks we do together."

"I guess…" Lily said, unconvinced. "They just always seem so immature. And I know, I've known them since they were just eleven. But we're seventeen now. I don't understand their antics."

"The interesting thing is, if you pay attention, they really are growing up. I think even James could surprise you. Just give it time." With that strange statement, Remus busied himself quietly in sorting items and Lily puzzled over the unfamiliar possibility that James Potter was maturing.

xxxxxxx

The last day of term and the end-of-year feast flew by, and too soon Lily was on the Hogwarts Express, heading back into the Muggle World. Her compartment was filled with the usual gang, minus Emmeline, who had snuck away early on to snog David Vance.

"I can't believe this is the summer before our last year at Hogwarts," Mary murmured. "We've all grown up together, and now it's ending."

"Hush, you! We've still got a whole summer and a whole year. Plus, we can now all officially do magic outside of school! Isn't that great?" Dorcas chimed in optimistically.

"Yeah… I can't imagine my sister being too thrilled about that, though," said Lily dismally.

"Hey, don't stress. She's living with her husband anyway. You can show off to your parents! You know they're proud of you. Mine sure are, at least. They love learning about the wizarding world," Mary said.

Lily nodded, realizing that she would not have Tuney at home this time. _It might get lonely_ …

"Hey guys, you should all come visit over the summer! We don't have to worry about anybody but my parents being home, really. It would be awesome!"

The other girls voiced their delight at Lily's idea. They agreed upon the first week of July to stay at her home. Lily smiled happily. She didn't need to worry about boys, or the future, or James Potter… she had her circle of friends, and they were embarking into adulthood soon.


	2. Oodles of Owls

_June gloom sure is accurate_ , Lily thought dismally. It had barely stopped raining since she returned home from Hogwarts, keeping her mostly inside, away from walks through the city gardens or swimming in her pool. Lily loved roaming the grounds at Hogwarts, so to be cooped up now was driving her crazy. Her parents still worked long days, her father as a librarian and her mother as a local physician, which meant Lily was home alone much of the time. The house felt devoid of energy and life, with the parents gone daily and Petunia potentially never to return. And its only inhabitant spent days moping around and waiting until her friends were coming.

Lily tried to keep busy as best as she could. She spent time reading books and brewing new potions, but she couldn't help worrying over the news. The Daily Prophet's front page regularly showed reports of battles with You-Know-Who's forces or disappearances. What terrified Lily was that Muggles and Muggleborns were frequently the victims of these acts of violence.

One morning, Lily flipped open the Daily Prophet to a report of a Muggle family murdered savagely, most likely by a werewolf. Lily sighed, a deep sigh of sadness and frustration, and was about to close the paper, but then noticed that the family lived in the same town as Mary, her Muggleborn friend. Sick with worry, Lily rushed upstairs to her room to send Mary an owl.

Scratching her quill furiously across some nearby parchment, Lily wrote,

 _Dearest Mary,_

 _I read about the werewolf attack in your town. Was it close to you? Are you okay? I hope you're taking all the precautions you can, but yet nothing is enough. I hear almost no good news in the paper, only deaths. I'm just so scared, for you and for all of us. I know I'll see you soon, but I miss you! Write back quickly, please!_

 _Love from Lily_

She hastily tied the letter to her small cream-colored owl, Lulu, and urged her out into the light drizzle. The rest of the day, Lily was jumpy, flinching at every sound and peering anxiously out the window in hopes of seeing Mary's reply.

At about noon, the sun came out a bit and Lily went out on her porch, a book lying open on her lap while she stared at the sky in search of owls. An hour passed as she gazed off, lost in thought. She was about to give up and head back inside when a small dot appeared on the horizon, gliding steadily closer. Knocking the book off her lap, Lily jumped up as the tawny owl soared down and perched on the railing.

It was quickly apparent that this owl was an official Hogwarts owl, not Mary's. Markedly less enthusiastic, Lily took the letter from the owl's outstretched leg. _It's earlier than usual for the booklists,_ she mused as she split the seal and pulled out a thick letter. As she unfolded the crisp parchment, a small object fell into her hand. The patch gleamed up at her, a large gold _HG_ pronouncing Lily the newest Head Girl of Hogwarts.

Mary momentarily flew out of Lily's mind as she grasped the patch. Even though she'd enjoyed being a prefect for two years, she hadn't seriously thought she was going to be Head Girl. Lily was far from perfect; she tended to sass the other prefects and show up late a lot. She didn't understand why she was chosen, but she decided to push the doubt away in favor of happiness. Lily snatched up her book and the letter and rushed inside to phone her mom about the good news.

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Later that night, Lily sat with her parents in a comfortable booth as they enjoyed cheeseburgers and milkshakes to celebrate Lily's new position. They rarely went out to eat except on special occasions, so Lily treasured every moment.

"So, Lils, what can you do now as Head Girl? You're basically running the school now," her dad joked.

"Well, for one thing, I can change all the Houses' mascots. We're all the Gryffindor Bees now," Lily responded, laughing.

Her mom lightly smacked Lily's arm. "But really, honey, what do you get to do? I want to know what power my little daughter has."

"Uh, actually, I'm not sure. I kinda forgot to actually read the letter," Lily realized. "I was so busy calling you guys and just being generally excited. But I know the Heads organize patrols and prefect duties and stuff."

"Well that's… exciting."

"Mom! You wanted to know!" Lily groaned.

Their good-natured fun was then interrupted by a loud _SMACK_. A large black owl had rammed into the window next to the Evans' booth and was flapping around, looking a bit dazed. Her parents both looked at Lily confusedly, wondering why an owl was at the restaurant rather than their house.

As soon as Lily realized whose owl it was, she made to get up and go outside, muttered, "Oh, I will get you for this…"

"Lily, darling, whose owl is that?" Her mom piped up.

"It's stupid Potter's owl. He trained the bloody thing to seek out the recipient anywhere they were, rather than just their house. And it won't stop flapping around nearby until I take the letter personally. Bloody Potter," Lily cursed.

She stomped out of the restaurant, caught the owl's attention, then beckoned it towards a large tree, away from the curious onlookers. She cloaked herself and the owl with a quick Disillusionment Charm before finally allowing it to perch on her arm and proffer its leg. Lily had calmed down a bit, and gently untied the letter while stroking the owl, whose feathers were sticking out every direction from its crash. She knelt down on the soft grass underneath the tree and read James's loopy handwriting.

 _Dear Lily,_

 _Seeing as you are the likeliest candidate for Head Girl (don't flatter yourself, we just all know that the teachers adore you), I thought it fit to inform you that I have just received the title of Head Boy. And seeing as I normally love a great prank, let me assure you this is not a joke. I'm as shocked as you are, honestly. I suppose this means we'll be working together a lot next year._

Multiple ink splatters had dropped on letter at that point, as if the quill hesitated over the parchment before dipping down to write,

 _And I know we're not particularly close, but I've been reading the reports of the Death Eaters' attacks… I just want to make sure that you and your family are okay. I'm worried, Lily. The attacks are more frequent, and people are just dying. Stay safe, okay? I can't lose my Head Girl before term even starts._

 _James P._

Lily held the letter in shock. It took a moment for it to fully register that _James Potter_ was Head Boy. Everyone knew he and his band of friends were the biggest pranksters in school, a far cry from the responsibility of being Head Boy. And he had also expressed an unusual amount of sentiment in the letter. Lily's head was turning, trying to figure out why Potter would be so uncharacteristically nice. _Well, it's not_ that _uncharacteristic, I guess… he was pretty okay at the end of last year. And he stopped constantly asking me out at least. Maybe I should give him a chance._ With that resolution in mind, Lily conjured a piece of parchment and a quill, and quickly wrote a reply.

 _James,_

 _I quite nearly died from shock at that news. It also didn't help that your owl arrived by crashing into a Muggle restaurant window. Thanks for that. Anyway, I still don't know if I fully believe it… James Potter with a role of authority. It's something I'll have to get used to, I guess._

 _And thanks for your concern, but I'm fine. Your Head Girl will arrive in one piece, don't worry. The only thing really stressing me out is how lonely it is in the Muggle world right now. But going back for term will cheer me up, unless you drive me crazy. We will certainly have to see a lot of each other… Perhaps we should change things. Friendship is a good thing in these rough times. So what do you say, Potter? Friends?_

 _Lily_

She slowly rolled up the letter, trying not to let her resolve to be friends with James falter. The owl stuck out his leg for the letter and soon soared away into the setting sun. Lily watched him as long as she could until he was black speck against a deep orange sky, then turned to go back into the diner.

Her parents were full of questions as she slid back into the booth.

"Why did that boy send you a letter?"

"What's going on Lils?"

Lily sighed and sipped at her melting shake. "James Potter owled to tell me that he's the Head Boy."

Her parents' joint looks of confusion mirrored her own that was lurking inside of her. She had no idea what to expect of Head Boy Potter.

xxxxxxxx

A couple days later, Lily's house was alive and vibrant with five other teenage girls. Her friends had all come to visit for a week, and she was extremely grateful for the distraction. She spent the first day walking the girls around the city, showing them around all of her favorite spots.

The July day soon grew uncomfortably hot, with the sun finally piercing through the clouds and burning the backs of their necks. Lily suggested they head to lunch, and so she led her friends to her favorite cafe. It was a small, quaint restaurant on the corner of two moderately busy streets, with a homey atmosphere and the best tea and muffins. The girls quickly ordered some refreshing iced tea and settled down under shaded tables outside.

"Mmmm, this is fantastic. Who knew the Muggle world actually had good food?" Marlene joked.

"Mar, what did you think Lily and I grew up on?" Mary asked. "Peasant fare? Sure, Hogwarts has its feasts, but it's nothing like a good local restaurant."

"Hear, hear! I wouldn't survive the summer without this blackberry tea. Oh, and the chocolate muffins are to _die_ for."

"I don't know about that, the banana muffin in this menu looks pretty enticing," Dorcas teased.

Lily wrinkled her nose in disgust at the idea of eating bananas. "What a disgusting notion, to put mushy, sticky, yellow nastiness in a perfectly good muffin. Why, it's as bad as mixing butterbeer and pumpkin juice!" She shot a pointed look at Alice, who was notorious for combining two incompatible foods. The conversation quickly descended into arguing over what was grossest, with a large amount of giggling and shrieking.

However, Lily grew distracted a few minutes later when a roll of parchment dropped out of the sky onto her lap. She blankly stared at it until she realized that an owl must have dropped it from above. Sure enough, upon scanning the sky above, Lily saw Potter's black owl circling above. It appeared to be waiting for her to open the letter. She hesitated for a moment.

Marlene was the first one to notice that Lily had gone silent. She turned to her and saw the letter resting on Lily's lap. "Lils? Where'd that come from?"

Lily's head jerked up, startled out of her train of thought. "Oh, uh… it's from Potter."

Emmeline scrutinized Lily's face, which was flushing a bright pink. "Why in Merlin's beard would he send you a letter? I thought you weren't particularly close."

"Er… it's actually the second one he's sent me this summer."

"What!" Mary exclaimed. "Lily! You've been holding out on us! What did he say?"

"Well, I haven't told you guys yet, but I'm Head Girl this year…" Lily said sheepishly. The girls all congratulated her, but she cut them off by finishing, "And Potter owled me to say that he got Head Boy."

Shocked silence fell over the table. Dorcas was the first one to break it with an incredulous laugh. "You're messing with us, right? James Potter is the biggest troublemaker… scratch that, Sirius causes more mayhem. But still! He's only responsible when it comes to Quidditch."

"I know! I was so surprised. I know everybody likes him, and he's great at Quidditch and does well in his classes, but he's not exactly Head Boy material. Yet he swore he was telling the truth," Lily said. She glanced down at the letter in her hand, and shrugged. "I guess I should open this one now."

Her friends agreed, maybe a little _too_ enthusiastically, and she rolled it open and read it aloud.

 _Lily,_

 _I would've paid to see the look on your face when Barnabas hit the window. I'm sure it was memorable._

"Barnabas?" Mary asked.

"James's owl," Dorcas replied, and nudged Lily to keep reading.

 _And as to your proposition, why not? After all, we've got quite a history. The great James Potter and Lily Evans, working together to dominate the school. This'll go down in history. Prepare yourself!_

 _I'm sorry to hear that you're lonely. Didn't you say your sister got married and moved out? I'm sure she still thinks of you. Who wouldn't? But perhaps you'd like to trade places with me? Sirius keeps me on my toes, that's for sure. He set my favorite pillow on fire as a prank. Who sets cherished pillows on fire? That's crossing a line. Any suggestions for how I get back at him? Whatever my revenge is, it needs pizzazz. Pillows deserve better. Sirius is going down._

 _But I'm sure you don't want to deal with Sirius, so let me know if you need some more dialed-down excitement. I've been conducting some experiments. My eyebrow has been gold for two weeks now. I could give you one to match. But you probably wouldn't like that, I suppose. But if you do, just say the word._

 _James_

 _P.S. Please feed Barnabas before you send him back. He's upset at me because I ran out of owl treats yesterday. I need him to stop pecking at me. It's unbearable. Save me, Evans!_

Smiling, Lily closed the letter. However, her smile quickly fell when she saw the way her friends stared knowingly at her. "What?" she demanded.

Mary leaned across the table conspiratorially. "Lily, isn't it obvious? James is using his news of 'Head Boy' as a reason to talk to you."

"But why? I don't see how that's a problem."

Mary sighed in mock exasperation. "Lily, darling. He wants to be on good terms this year, so he's owling you. And he wants to be on good terms because he still has feelings for you!"

Lily shook her head disbelievingly. "No way. He stopped asking me out at the end of fifth year! Last year, he dated at least four separate girls. He's definitely moved on."

"Well, it appeared that he _tried_ to move on, but he definitely likes you," Alice said, agreeing with Mary.

"I can't believe this! You all think this?" Lily asked. Her friends all nodded, affirming that they saw romantic undertones. "I can't believe this. You're all incorrigible." She stood up and motioned for Barnabas the owl to come down. He perched on her arm and she murmured instructions in his ear to go to her home and wait. As he flapped away, Lily sat back down and firmly turned the conversation away from any speculation about James Potter. Soon their muffins arrived and full mouths kept the girls from trying to talk about him again.

xxxxxxxxx

The week passed, and the girls wisely kept their teasing to a minimum. Lily had sent a short reply joking about Sirius to James, and then pushed him out of her mind. She focused intensely on having fun, but too soon, the week was over and her friends left, leaving the house quiet and still.

At first, Lily felt loneliness encroaching again, but that feeling disappeared when Barnabas again appeared with a letter. Soon, she and James were writing each other every few days. It was mostly trivial, such as plans for class and fun things they did over the summer. But Lily couldn't help but feel a silly grin creep onto her face when she read his letters. _Whether or not he has feelings for me, he's a nice guy. And funny. And I'm actually excited to see him at school._ She soon found herself counting down to September 1st, eagerly awaiting when she could escape the dull Muggle world and see her friends (and Potter) again.


	3. Dreadful Duties

Chapter 3

Lily's mom and dad woke her up September 1st to a big breakfast in bed of muffins and coffee. Their grins were so big as they tickled her awake that Lily almost forgave them for waking her up early. Almost. She tried to roll away and saw that the clock read 6:30 a.m. She groaned and attempted to burrow back under her fluffy blankets.

"C'mon, Lilykins! Up and at 'em! It's your last year of school, you should be excited!" Her dad encouraged, poking her under the blanket.

"Urrnmmggh," Lily moaned unintelligibly.

Her mom waved the fresh muffin near Lily's face. Lily huffed loftily, but edged a little closer. She could see melty chocolate chips dotting its surface, just _begging_ to be eaten. After a moment of deliberation, she wriggled out of her blanket cocoon, sat up halfway, and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. Her mom finally handed over the muffin with a smile. Lily attacked the warm muffin with ravenous delight.

"Mmmgh-"

"Lily, for heaven's sake, finish your bite!" her mom reprimanded while holding back a laugh at the chocolate quickly smearing across Lily's lips. She rolled her eyes, but swallowed the bite.

"Why, in all of Merlin's holy beard hairs, did you wake me up this early! We don't have to leave until about 10," Lily complained.

Her dad laughed at the strange wizard lingo, before explaining, "We wanted to spend the morning with you. Besides, we have a surprise for you!"

Lily's head perked up at that. "What is it?"

Her mom announced, "We are going to leave a few hours early so that you can go shopping in London! All on us. I know you've been dying to go all summer and we just never had the time."

"Oh my gosh Mom! Thank you!" Lily lunged to the right to hug her parents. They smiled and hugged her tightly, but Lily could sense something was off. For one thing, her mom looked like she was about to cry. "Mom? I thought we were having a happy moment…?"

Her mom laughed. "Oh, Lily, of course we are! It's just… Petunia moved out last summer, and you're going off to your last year of school, and you'll be a legal adult and everything… Who knows where you'll be going next summer? And…" she trailed off, a dark look coming over her face. "Never mind. We just want you to have a safe year and go on to be a great success. So we're celebrating your last school year with an epic shopping trip. You'll want some new fashion anyway. Don't you want to impress that boy, oh, who is it?" she asked, a mischievous glint in her eye.

Lily's dad added, "Oh yes, that boy whose owl comes at every hour of the night? The boy who has the 'rakish hair and deep green eyes,' was it?"

Lily smacked his arm, blushing furiously. "No! We're just trying to be friends this year. I don't need to impress him." Her parents gave each other knowing looks. "No! Ugh, whatever. I'm just going to go get ready." Lily pushed her parents off her bed and went to go brush her unruly hair.

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Several hours later, Lily was standing with her parents in front of the scarlet Hogwarts Express. Steam curled through the air, giving the station a surreal feeling. Murmurs and fragments of conversation whirled through the air, carrying bits of greetings, farewells, and jokes from students' conversations. She scanned the platform for a moment and saw Marlene, so she hugged her parents, who were crying a bit, and bid them goodbye until Christmas break. Lugging her trunk behind her (which was extremely full of new clothes and shoes) and her owl cage, she awkwardly made her way over to Marlene, who had struck up a conversation with Slytherin Ian McKinnon. As she approached, Ian smiled at Marlene and left.

"What was that all about?"

"Oh!" Marlene jumped. "Lily, you scared me! Anyway, Ian was just saying hi. He wanted to see my new cat, too."

The cat twined its way around Lily's ankle, purring contently. She bent down to pet the cat before asking, "Are you sure he's just saying hi? He's pretty cute, you know…"

"Shut up."

"If you say so…"

"Whatever. So how are you? How's _James_?"

Lily blushed. _I need to get some makeup to stop that._ "I haven't heard from him in a while, so I'm sure he's fine."

Marlene just shrugged and turned toward the train. "Do you think you'll have to stay in the prefect compartment the whole time? What do you even have to do as Head Girl?"

"Er, I think I do have to stay the whole time. To supervise prefect patrols and stuff. And I think the Heads have to start planning the new prefect training too."

"That blows. Well, we'll miss you as we're pigging out on sweets and having real fun," Marlene teased.

"Thanks for the sympathy," Lily drawled. "Well, I'm going to go put this stupid trunk on the train. _Locomotor Trunk!_ "

The trunk rose, wobbling, into the air. Lily hoisted a chirping Lulu's cage under her arm and directed her trunk towards an open door. She slowly made her way through groups of people up to the front of the train, to the spacious prefect compartment. It was empty when she got in, so she lifted her trunk to the luggage rack, set Lulu down, and plopped down with a sigh of contentment. _I forgot how soft these are,_ she thought. She had hardly sat there for a minute when the door slid open to reveal a grinning James Potter.

"How ya doin', Evans? Hanging in there?"

"Um, fine, thanks," Lily said awkwardly. They stood there in silence for a few moments. _Stupid idiot! Say something!_ She stammered, "How… uh, how are you? I haven't heard from you in a couple weeks."

James smiled ruefully, running a hand through his mussed hair. "Sorry about that. Barnabas came down with the bird flu or something and he's just getting over from it." He motioned to Barnabas's cage, where he was resting in a heap of black feathers. "Why didn't you just use your owl? Lulu, right?"

"I would, except she doesn't really fly long distance. I bought her when I was eleven, so I didn't really know anything about owls. She really only carries mail around Hogwarts, occasionally to some of my friends who live nearby. Sorry," Lily apologized.

"Hey, no problem. We're here face-to-face now, so it's all cool." He grinned again. "Oh, could I get to the luggage rack?" he asked.

Lily mentally hit herself. "Oops. I'll just move." She edged over a seat, allowing James to reach the rack. He strode over and hefted his trunk and broom up right next to hers, despite there being plenty of space. He stepped back and looked at her strangely.

"You okay? You're unusually, I don't know, quiet today?"

Lily asked incredulously, "Quiet? I'm sorry, who was the person used to practically living alone all summer, not talking to anyone? Right, it was me."

"Man, Evans, I'm just checking that you're doing okay!" he chuckled and ran his hand through his hair. Lily shrugged nonchalantly.

The door to the compartment slid open, announcing Remus Lupin. He slouched in as if he didn't want to be seen, but then saw it was only James and Lily. He straightened up and demanded, "What are you doing?"

"What?" Lily asked, sliding away from James, who was still standing very close.

"Oh, sorry, not you, Lily," Remus said apologetically. He shot a steely look at James. "This moron abandoned Peter and me with Sirius, who thought it funny to release one of those bloody glitter bombs from last year at that moment. I _still_ can't get the glitter out of my bloody hair. I looked like a unicorn decorated by first-year girls!"

Lily giggled. "Yeah… your eyelashes are looking pretty flamboyant right about now."

Remus growled in irritation, rubbing at his eyes in a vain attempt to get rid of the glitter. "Oh, and, to top it all, James, your Snitch has been flapping around in my bag and almost ripped it! Take the bloody thing." He yanked a dented golden Snitch out of his book bag and tried to hurl it at James. However, the Snitch just slowly buzzed in James's general direction, where he caught it out of the air and held it in his hand, wings gently fluttering.

"Remus, you need to relax. Have you tried yoga?" James asked, slouching into a seat across from Lily.

"Shut up," Remus snapped. He sat in a seat far away from James, still shooting him annoyed looks.

Lily hid a smile before she asked, "Remus, how are you? Other than, you know, looking like cheap gold."

Remus smiled ruefully. "Not much, I'm afraid. Summer was pretty dull. Although I did read some more Shakespeare. Not that Mr. Athletic over here would appreciate such refined tastes." This was accompanied by an eye roll in James's direction, who simply smirked and ran his hand through his hair.

"Speaking of Mr. Athletic, the other prefects are going to be coming in any minute. It's nearly eleven," Lily realized. "We should get ready to introduce ourselves, explain who has what patrol shifts-"

"Oh, who needs that?" James interjected.

Lily glared at him. "Seriously? Ugh, this is what I was hoping _wouldn't_ happen. Did you not prepare at all?"

"Oh, Evans, re _lax_. Of course I prepared my stuff. Everything will go just fine," James said, shrugging his shoulders. "They all love me already, all I have to do is smile and send them off on their separate ways."

Lily huffed and turned to greet the first few arriving prefects, who quickly filled up the room.

xxxxxxxxxx

Lily moaned, rubbing her hip. She was perched on a stack of luggage that she had just finished dragging and levitating up to the Gryffindor Tower. Her back ached from the unexpected task.

"Bloody Peeves," James cursed. He was sprawled on the floor, next to another stack of trunks. "Next time I see him, he's got it coming to him."

"Definitely," Lily agreed. Normally, she avoided the poltergeist, but right now she was pissed at him. Peeves had snuck into the kitchens and thrown everything in disarray. Dinner was delayed and the house-elves who normally got the luggage from the train to the dormitories were needed to clean up Peeves's mess. Which left poor James and Lily to find a way to get all four Houses' stuff inside the castle while the prefects got their beginning-of-the-year tasks from Professor Sprout.

"For starters, Remus invented this new charm that shoots stuff up people's noses. He reckons that it'll work on ghosts as well, so we should try that," James mused.

Lily merely groaned in response, which led James to crane his neck up at her. "Evans, you sound terrible. Do you want some food?"

"Dinner's practically over. And I really don't want to eat a bunch of pudding. I might actually puke."

"If you're up for some moving, we can get whatever food we want," James offered.

Lily considered it for a second, then nodded yes. "As long as there are _no_ stairs. I refuse to touch another stair. Forever."

"No stairs. Promise. Let's go." He headed out of the portrait hole, Lily slowly following behind. James turned right into a lesser-used hall and pulled aside a tapestry. Behind it, barely visible, was a door. Pulling it open, James beckoned Lily closer. She peered inside and saw not stairs, thank goodness, but a _slide_.

"Merlin's beard! Has this been here the whole time?"

James smiled proudly. "Yep. Found it myself second year. It goes down five stories. Let's go!" He nudged Lily towards the opening. "You'll come out in some empty space behind another tapestry. Wait for me to come out when you land, but give me space."

Lily slid her feet in hesitantly and was aided by an unexpected, firm shove from James, sending her quickly down the slide. She yelled in fear and delight as she slid down and down, air rushing over her. It was dimly lit by small slots in the stone that illuminated the ancient stonework. Lily wondered briefly if the slide had by built during the Founders' time before she tumbled out onto a soft pillow. Feeling a bit discombobulated, Lily shakily stood up, giggling slightly. A brief moment later, James came tumbling out of the slide's entrance and smacked into Lily. She nearly shrieked out loud, but James hastily covered her mouth.

"We're near the Great Hall," he whispered at Lily's muted protests. "We wouldn't want McGonagall to hear us, would we?" He winked conspiratorially and removed his hand from Lily's mouth. She glared at him in mock anger, which sent James into a silent laughing fit.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, Evans, your angry face," he wheezed quietly. "It's like… it's like a cute little puppy trying to look tough!"

Lily drew back in indignation. "I'll have you know my angry face is _very_ formidable! I've made Sirius Black quail before me with it!" she whispered fiercely.

James just shook his head disbelievingly. "Evans, if you're quite finished pretending to be intimidating, let's get ready to go. I hear a lot of noise from the Hall, so we're good to go." He pushed aside the tapestry that was concealing their hiding place and edged out into the corridor. Lily carefully followed him, wincing at her sore muscles. They quietly padded down the empty hall, James leading the way through the maze of classrooms and closed rooms. He stopped after going down a dead end with a painting of a bowl of fruit.

"Seriously? I asked for food, and you brought me to a _painting of food_? You've got to be joking," Lily said, her annoyance with James Potter rising. He ignored her, instead tickling the fruit. She was about to have another outburst when the painting suddenly swung outward. Light, warmth, and delicious smells emanated from the doorway.

James grinned at Lily's confusion. "Welcome to the Hogwarts kitchens!" He swept his arm toward the kitchen hall in a grand gesture, ushering Lily in. She stumbled through the short passageway as though in a daze, following her nose. Soon, it opened up into a large room ringed by ovens, stoves, and fires, with huge counters running along the room that bore huge platters of steaming food. House-elves bustled around the room, chattering and calling out instructions. James and Lily stood in the middle of the hubbub, drinking in the glorious sight.

"Master Potter!" a squeaky voice called from around James's knees. He and Lily bent down to see a small elf proffering a plate of meat. "So good to see you again! Would you like to try a sampling of our braised lamb?"

"Absolutely, Pips!" James agreed, scarfing down a handful of the chunks of lamb. Lily quickly followed suit, and was soon exclaiming her praises to the elf.

Pips bowed his head bashfully, insisting "It was no problem, miss, sir, would you like some more?" Lily and James nodded enthusiastically, their stomachs growling in unison. Other house-elves carried over a small table and chairs, into which Lily and James sank gratefully. In a flash, the table was laden with sample dishes of delectable soups, meats, salads, and potatoes. Lily barely spoke as she gulped down the amazing food. James ate quickly as well, intermittently thanking the elves for the meal.

After a while, the eating slowed down and the pair began to talk over steaming mugs of hot cocoa. Lily was awestruck that James had never let on that he received food directly from the Hogwarts elves.

"It's not that big a deal, honestly, they practically force it on you."

"I just can't believe you made it out to seem like it was such an arduous task, sneaking food for parties!"

"Well, someone has to be the hero, right? I think I fit the description." This earned James a lighthearted smack from Lily. "Hey!"

"You still need some humbling, Potter. You're the most arrogant person I know…"

"I'd think that honor goes to Sirius."

"Touche."

They continued on for nearly an hour before Lily finally felt her eyes growing heavy. She tried to force them to stay open; she didn't want the moment to end. Lily was laughing and joking with James Potter by the fireside, belly full, and felt happier than she'd felt all summer. Yet she finally slumped against James's shoulder, succumbing to her exhaustion. Her eyes closed so quickly that she missed the tender smile gracing James's handsome face when her head fell upon his shoulder.

xxxxxxxxx

Lily rolled over in her bed, nestled securely under her duvet. She blearily glanced at her watch, which read 3 A.M. She tried to clear the fuzziness from her mind, but could only remember the fragments of what seemed a dream.

She was riding a magnificent animal through the streets…. A unicorn? No, it had antlers… The softest cloth was draped over her, hiding her from the world as the beast carried her gently to a high tower and laid her gently in her bed. It had bowed… nodded?... farewell before disappearing into the haze of the dream.

Lily smiled at the memory and slipped back into a dreamless sleep.


	4. The Nature of a Potter

Chapter 4

Lily joined her friends late the next morning at the breakfast table. She slumped tiredly against Emmeline's back as Emmeline reviewed their new schedules. Lily barely heard a word they said as she struggled to stay awake. She hadn't _meant_ to stay up so late, but it just happened. And now she would have to suffer her way, barely conscious, through a full day of classes.

"Hey, Lily," Mary nudged her. "We've got Charms first today! That should be nice and easy. And we've got Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures after lunch. That should wake you up, right?"

Lily shrugged and yawned in response. Mary turned away, smiling ruefully at Lily's obliviousness to the goings-on around her. "Hey, Dorcas, you only have Astronomy and Care of Magical Creatures, right?"

Dorcas grinned cheerfully. "Yep! I opted for a slightly less heavy load this year - no more than two classes a day. I want to focus on Quidditch so that I can get on a good team for the coming season."

"Just don't forget to hang out with us, unlike Alice," Marlene teased, nodding towards where Alice and Frank sat entwined around each other. Without turning around, Alice flipped her middle finger at Marlene. Marlene just laughed and said, "It's true! We don't want Dorcas here getting too obsessed with Quidditch. Why, she might get as obsessed as Potter!"

"Did I hear my name?" a smooth voice called from behind Lily. She didn't register who it was before seeing James sliding in next to Emmeline at the Gryffindor table. He was accompanied by his band of friends, who plopped down next to the girls. "I'm always happy to hear people singing my praises."

"Don't get so full of yourself, Potter. We were just discussing how to prevent Dorcas from catching Potter-itis."

"And what, pray tell, would Potter-itis be? I hope it's a curse of devilish handsomeness," James said, tossing his head proudly.

"I do believe you're confusing that for Sirius-itis," Sirius butted in. "Potter-itis is the inability to have a sense of humor."

"Hey!" James pretended to look hurt, batting his eyelashes and sniffling at Sirius.

Lily finally sat up, holding back a giggle at James's failing seduction. "You narcissistic prats. Potter-itis is an incurable obsession with Quidditch. And Sirius-itis would be a curse of constant bedhead."

Sirius gasped. "How could you, Evans! I have the most glorious hair in all of Hogwarts! Well, except for Dumbledore."

Mary snorted into her pumpkin juice, sending the table into a fit of laughter. Lily smiled faintly and laid her head on the table, only to jerk back up when McGonagall rang a loud bell from the staff table.

"Students! You should all have your schedules, and classes are nearly beginning! If there are any conflicts or questions about your subjects, go see your Head of House." She directed the prefects to show new students out of the Hall and to their classes, while the older students lingered, gathering books and quills.

Emmeline helped Lily up, and they all meandered up to the second floor to Professor Flitwick's classroom. They took their seats at their usual square table near the front of the classroom and Lily concentrated her effort on listening to Professor Flitwick, who had an uncharacteristically difficult lesson for them. He set them to practicing a tricky charm that created large, multicolored bubbles that could hold a few seconds of memory. It was a very flashy charm, often used at parties or celebrations of someone's achievements. Flitwick encouraged the wizards to think of recent, happy moments that would be more clearly captured in the bubble. The only recent happy memory coming to Lily's mind was her adventure with Potter the previous night. She stubbornly tried to think of something else, but every time a bubble emerged from her wand, brief flashes of the kitchens or the secret slide appeared before the bubble popped.

"Focus!" Professor Flitwick squeaked as he wound his way through the colorful haze of popping bubbles. "You should be able to create the bubble and maintain it indefinitely after you release it! Concentrate on your memory!" He was nearly to their table when Lily released a particularly large bubble and it immediately popped with the force of a small explosion, knocking Flitwick off his feet. Lily looked mortified, while Dorcas and Marlene doubled over with silent laughter.

Emmeline gave them a reprimanding look and asked Flitwick, "Are you okay, Professor?"

"Yes, yes, thank you," he replied, dusting himself off. "Miss Evans, where is your _focus_? You rarely take this long to master a spell."

"Oh, um… I guess my memory isn't strong enough."

"That bubble was _very_ large and strong. I think your problem is not coming up with a strong memory, but it is maintaining your connection with it. What memory comes to mind?"

"Well…" Lily hesitated. "I recently spent some time with... a friend."

Professor Flitwick furrowed his brow. "You must've done something during that time to make it stand out. Think of the happiest part, and don't let go."

Lily could see that she wasn't getting out of showing her memory to the professor. She reluctantly swirled her wand, as if stirring the air. A large greenish bubble swelled out, showing her drinking hot cocoa by a fireplace, laughing with someone whose black hair just barely showed within the bubble. Marlene thought she knew whose messy hair seemed to be in the bubble. She swiveled around to look at James, who appeared to be goofing around with his friends in the back. But she couldn't miss his frequent glances up to the front of the room, where Lily's memory hung above her table. James had a small smile on his face; his usual smirk was gone. Marlene suspected there was more to last night than Lily had let on. She turned back around to see Lily, who hadn't noticed anything beyond her intense focus on the charm.

After a minute, Professor Flitwick nodded in approval. "Very good, Miss Evans. Now you know to employ the strength of the mind as well as your magical strength. It's all about intent, you know. Mental direction." He left their table to finish his rounds.

xxxxxxxx

As they were leaving Charms, Marlene held Lily behind. She motioned for her to step into a side corridor.

"Lily, is there something you're hiding?"

Lily looked at Marlene, incredibly confused. "What d'you mean? What do I have to hide?"

"Well, you seemed to really struggle with showing that memory. That room didn't look like anywhere I've been."

"Ah." Lily realized what Marlene was getting at. "It's nothing, really. James-Potter, I mean-he took me down to the kitchens to get some food because the feast was almost over by the time we finished moving all the luggage."

"But you didn't come back to the dormitory till after we were asleep. And that was _long_ after the feast ended."

"Seriously, it's nothing! We just talked for a while. That's it!" Lily insisted.

"Okay, if you're sure. It's just that you didn't like him much, and now you're the best of pals suddenly. And you must've really enjoyed yourself last night for it to be your recent happy memory."

Lily blushed. "I guess it was fun. I know I hung out with you guys back in July, but it got pretty lonely after that. It was just nice to talk with someone."

Marlene hugged her friend gently. "Well, we're all here at Hogwarts now, and you've got lots of friends. Don't close yourself off, okay?"

"Yeah," Lily acquiesced. "I guess… Wait, do you hear that?"

Marlene looked at her, puzzled. "What?"

"Listen."

Marlene concentrated and heard the faint sounds of a scuffle further down the hall. "Is somebody… dueling or something?"

"I don't know, but as Head Girl, I should go find out." Lily strode down the hall, Marlene following closely behind. They turned a corner to find Severus Snape against a wall, wandless, with James Potter glaring at him, wand drawn. Snape was breathing heavily and a look of pure loathing twisting his face. Lily stopped in her tracks at the sight.

" _Potter!_ "

James whipped his head around at Lily's voice. "Evans! What would you be doing here?"

"What the bloody hell is going on! You can't just hex people whenever you want!"

"Wait, Evans, Snivellus-"

" _Don't call me that_ ," Snape snarled.

"Oh, you don't like nicknames, huh?" James shot back. "What about that lovely nickname you called that first year Muggleborn just now? I do believe you enjoy tossing around that particular insult."

Lily turned towards Snape, a strange emotion clouding her eyes. "Severus… what did you do?"

Snape stayed resolutely silent at Lily's pleading tone. James scoffed in contempt. "This… _scum_ … jinxed a first year and taunted him because of his parentage. I sent the kid off to the hospital wing for the broken nose."

"A broken nose!" Lily's wrath turned upon Snape. "I don't even recognize you anymore! You are nothing but a pathetic worm, hoping to gain favor with the worst wizard in history! I _despise_ you, Snape. I will be letting Slughorn know and rest assured, you will be in detention for the foreseeable future! Hopefully, that'll keep the other students safe from your disgusting bigotry. Now _go_ , and I don't want to see your face as much as possible!"

Snape looked as if he wanted to protest, but he saw Lily's glower and her tight grip on her wand, so he slunk away from the scene. James finally lowered his wand and grinned. "Good job, Evans! He got what was coming to him!"

Lily turned her fierce look on James. "And _you_. You are Head Boy! I know you hate him more than anyone, but you cannot hex him as punishment! You are supposed to uphold the good values of this school! And yes, I finally thought we could work well together, but I guess I was wrong. You have not changed a bit. And to think I thought we were _friends_ …" Lily trailed off, anger vanishing. Only aching disappointment remained. She slumped against the wall. James made as if to help her up, but she shook her head. "I think it's best if we give each other space. We're just too different."

A look of hurt crossed James's face. "But Evans, what about last night? We didn't argue then."

Lily stared down despondently. "I guess it was just an unusual occurrence. You're not a bad person, really, I… I can't agree with your recklessness. I just… I need to go." Lily rejoined Marlene, who had quietly watched the whole thing. They linked arms and walked slowly away.

Lily held back her tears until they reached the nearest staircase. As it slowly rumbled and began to shift towards a lower landing, she sagged against the railing and the tears dripped, slow and cool, down her cheek. Marlene stood next to her, gently rubbing small circles across her back.

After a moment, Lily murmured, "Why did I let him in?"

"Who, Lily? I mean, are you talking about James or Snape?"

Lily paused. "Both, I suppose… I let Severus in when I was so young, how could I know he would turn into a pathetic bully? But still, I miss his company. Maybe that's why I let myself open up to James, give him a little trust, but he disregarded it. He _knows_ how much Severus means-meant-to me. I really thought he'd changed, Mar. I can't believe I was so _stupid_."

"Hey, you're not stupid, Lily. You are so far from stupid. You see the best in people, it's what's amazing about you. You decided to give James a chance, and he blew it. It's not your fault," Marlene assured Lily. She hugged her tightly, comforting Lily as she dried the last of her tears.

"You're right," Lily sighed. "Thank you, Mar. You always know what to say." She stood up straight and cocked her head. "Marlene… why aren't the stairs moving? We're hovering over the entryway."

Marlene looked down and gasped. "Merlin's beard! How did I not notice that? Why-"

"I know why," Lily said grimly. She pointed to a shamefaced James Potter, whose wand was emitting a hazy blue light around the bottom of the staircase, freezing it in place between landings.

"Hey, Evans, Marlene," he said quietly, nodding at each in turn. "I just wanted to apologize."

Lily scowled angrily. "How dare you prevent me from leaving! Unfreeze the staircase _now_!"

"Please, Lily," James pleaded. "Just let me say-"

"I am not letting you say anything, you prat!" Lily snarled. "You use magic to punish whomever you think deserves it! I thought you finally stopped, but I was wrong! And now, Potter, I _will_ hex you if you don't let us go!"

She brandished her wand in warning. James wisely stayed silent, but he refused to break the spell. Lily huffed angrily, and before Marlene could hold her back, she shot a jet of red light right at James. He instinctively cast a Shield Charm, which broke his connection to the freezing spell and the staircase finally ground into place. Lily whipped around and rushed down the staircase, disappearing quickly around a corner.

James cried out, "Evans, wait!" He tried to run after her, but Marlene blocked his path. "Marlene, please move, I just need to talk to her!"

"No," she said quietly. "She's really upset."

"I know, that's why I need to fix things, please?" James flashed his signature grin, but when it didn't make Marlene budge, he dropped it and looked truly dejected. "Please, Marlene, I feel horrible."

"Trust me, she needs space. And time." Marlene scrutinized James's face. "And why do you care, anyway? Do you really just want to be friends that bad?"

James hesitated for a moment, then firmly replied, "Yes. I really want to be friends."

"Then why would you hex Snape? Sure, nobody likes him, but Lily did. And she already gets upset when she sees him. She doesn't need to deal with the repercussions of you jinxing him at every opportunity."

"But he hurt a first year!" James protested. "I seriously just wanted to stop someone from practicing the Dark Arts on the little kids! It could've been anyone from that awful Slytherin group, but it just _happened_ to be Snape. I wasn't seeking him out, I swear!"

Marlene nodded. "I believe you."

"Really?" James asked, hope returning.

"But Lily won't."

"Oh." James hung his head and muttered, "So there's nothing I can do?"

Marlene replied, "I think… if you let her see your good side, with _no_ hexing people, then she'll come around. She wants to see the best in you, she really does. Just give her no reason to doubt it."

James smiled slowly. "Okay, I will." He straightened his back, then ran his hand through his hair confidently. "Lily won't even see it coming!"

Marlene laughed her head at James's playful tone. "Alrighty, Potter. Just don't get ahead of yourself. And don't tell her we talked. It's all gotta come from you."

"Oh, don't worry, I'm not going to screw up this time." James winked at Marlene and sauntered off, humming to himself.

Marlene shook her head in wonder at the exchange. Sure, James had changed since last year, but she doubted he would win over Lily wholly.


	5. Intrigue in the Lounge

Chapter 5

At the end of Transfiguration the next day, Lily had managed to not speak to James since the fiasco with Severus the previous morning. It was difficult to avoid him since they had most classes together, including Transfiguration. However, Lily's plans to dash out after class without James trying to make small talk with her were destroyed.

"Miss Evans, Mr. Potter, stay after class a few minutes!" Professor McGonagall called out over the normal bustle of people putting away their wands and books. Lily determinedly kept her eyes down on the quills she was putting away, and didn't look around as James came up towards the front of the classroom.

"Hey, Professor, how 'bout a biscuit?"

McGonagall stared sternly down at James. "You are not currently here for a detention, Potter, so don't push my patience. I simply forgot to tell you and Miss Evans a bit of information. Miss Evans?"

Lily jerked her head up. "Yeah? Sorry, Professor, I'm just putting my quills away. I'm coming." She wiped some ink on her robes and hurried over to McGonagall.

"I'm sure you're aware of the Heads' Lounge?" McGonagall queried. At James and Lily's puzzled looks, she continued, "Well, I suppose not, seeing as we haven't had a Gryffindor Head in a few years. Well, the Heads receive access to a Lounge in their dormitory as a reward for their hard work. The door is in the corner to the left of the dormitory stairs. No one else can get in, which can be very beneficial for study time. Often, the Heads are in separate Houses, but you two will have to share. I hope you can deal with this," she said pointedly. "And all you need to get in are these keys." Two ornate, old-fashioned gold keys tied with scarlet ribbon appeared, hovering in her hand. "I trust you won't lose these, as it is _very_ difficult to replicate the charms on them. Only you, holding the key, will allow you into the Lounge. At the first sign of irresponsible use, I _will_ take back the keys." With that, McGonagall allowed the keys to float toward Lily and James and land gently in their hands.

"Wow, Professor, this is so amazing!" Lily exclaimed. "Thank you very much!"

"Yes, yes, now get on to your next class, you two," McGonagall urged. Lily and James nodded their thanks again and left the room.

Lily tried to walk slowly, allowing James to get ahead, but he maintained a slow stroll right alongside her. No matter her pace, he stayed right alongside her, even keeping his steps in time with hers. After going down three hallways like this, Lily finally stopped in frustration and turned to James.

"Why are you following me?"

James chuckled and replied, "Why, Evans, I am walking _with_ you. I think I'd have to be at least a step behind to be following you. Shouldn't you know that?"

"Fine," Lily snapped. "Why are you walking with me, then?"

"I was under the impression that friends do that sort of thing, y'know, walk each other places."

"We are not _friends_ , Potter," Lily hissed.

"Acquaintances, then?" James suggested jovially. At Lily's glare, he held up his hands in mock surrender and stepped back. "I see how it is, then. I guess I'll just go check out the Heads' Lounge on my own then?" He dangled the gold key from his hand tantalizingly. "Don't you want to see what it has waiting inside?"

Lily did desperately want to examine the Lounge, but she protested, "We have class! There's no time."

"Ah, but Potions doesn't start for a full half hour. There's plenty of time."

"So? I don't particularly want to go up there with _you_."

"Ouch, Evans. You're not pulling your punches today, I see. I suppose I should go confer with my Seeker down at the Quidditch pitch while I have time, anyway," James shrugged. "Since we do have half an hour. Guess I'll see ya around, Evans." He waved cheerily and walked away in the direction of the entrance hall.

Lily was puzzled as to why James had given up so easily. Normally he would have pestered her until she just agreed to go up to the dormitories so he would stop bothering her. But since he apparently wasn't going to the Lounge, Lily figured she might as well head up and see what it was all about. _No harm in that, right?_

She turned left toward the stairs rather than continuing into the courtyard. With no James in sight, she dashed up six flights of stairs rather quickly towards Gryffindor Tower. Clutching her side after her climbing, she jogged over to the portrait hole and wheezed out, "Bowtruckle tree." The Fat Lady swung outward to reveal a couple sixth years by the fire who turned their heads briefly at Lily's entrance, but the common room was otherwise deserted. Lily slowly walked over to the corner where McGonagall said the door was. The light grey stone of the tower wall seemed unmarked, but upon closer examination, she saw a faint light coming from a hole. She pulled the gold key out of her robe pocket, and saw that it was glowing faintly as well. She hastily shoved the key into the keyhole, brimming with anticipation. The stone slid inward, creating a slice in the rock big enough to walk through. Lily retrieved the key and went inside, wondering what she would see.

"Well, well, well, I guess I was right," a voice drawled. Lily looked around, confused as to why someone else was in the Lounge. It was only lit by the light from a window on the opposite wall, so the corners of the room were dark. Out of one of the dark corners emerged James Potter, grinning triumphantly. Lily's jaw dropped in shock.

"You said you were going to the Quidditch pitch! You liar!" she shot at him accusingly.

"Oh, Evans, I honestly can't believe you fell for that. Seriously, did you think I was going to let you explore this room first?" James chuckled. He flicked his wand and lit some lamps and candles that were sitting on tables. "Besides, it's worth it, right?" He spread his arms wide, gesturing to the many amenities the Lounge offered.

Putting aside her exasperation for a moment, Lily took in the room. It was about half as large as the common room, ringed by bookshelves and small tables. The window was large, with a great view of the grounds and lightweight white curtains with gold lions embroidered on them to block the midday sun. A few cushy red chairs were also interspersed throughout the room, as well as a soft grey couch with blankets folded on top of it. There was even a small bathroom attached to the room. Lily paced around, taking it all in. The best part was when she noticed an old fashioned bell attached to the wall, labeled _Kitchen_.

"They have a direct bell to the kitchens?" Lily exclaimed, forgetting her irritation in her excitement. "And all the books, my own bathroom…."

" _Our_ bathroom, you mean," James interjected. "Don't forget you have to _share_ , Evans."

"Oh, whatever," Lily said, brushing him off. "This room is _so_ worth all the work we have to do this year." She flopped down in one of the chairs, sighing in contentment. "It's so relaxing, I've almost forgotten that you're here too," she said laughingly. James pretended to look hurt, but he came and sat in a chair next to Lily, feeling that she was more at ease. They sat in silence for a minute before Lily sat up straight suddenly.

"How did you get here before me? I saw you head in the other direction while I ran up six flights of stairs! And I didn't see you once," she said, frowning.

"Oh, yeah," James said casually. "I waited for you to get out of sight, then I doubled back and used one of my little… alternate routes."

"Alternate routes?" Lily asked, her interest piqued. "So all those rumors about you and your friends knowing all the secret passageways? Is that true?"

James nodded modestly. "Well, I suppose we do…"

"Cut the crap, Potter, you're not that humble. I'm actually praising you, unfortunately."

"Well, in that case, we found all of the passages by the end of second year. Both in _and_ out of Hogwarts," James said smugly.

"Out? You mean, you leave the grounds whenever you want?" Lily asked incredulously.

"Not really. It takes a good hour or so to walk to Hogsmeade anyway, so we don't leave that often. Mostly we just use the passageways in the castle. Like the slide I showed you. That's just the tip of the iceberg. The Hogwarts Founders and other wizards have left their marks by adding to the castle, and we made it our job to find all of the hidden nooks and crannies," James explained. His face lit up as he talked of his adventures with his friends around Hogwarts. Lily was half listening as she distractedly gazed at his face. _He's so handsome when he's happy_ , she realized. James faltered, noticing Lily's glazed-over look.

"Hey, Evans, you look a little spacey there. Did I bore you with the tales of daring feats?" he joked.

"No, no," Lily quickly replied. "Sorry, just still a little tired, I guess. Besides, we should get going to Potions anyway." She promptly stood up, gathered her things, and headed out of the Lounge, James reluctantly following. They reached the portrait hole when they were met by Marlene.

"Well, hey there strangers," Marlene greeted them. "What are you two doing in the common room? Potions is about to start, isn't it?"

"Oh, yeah, that's where we're going!" Lily replied, a little too cheerfully.

Marlene eyed James carefully, who was leaning nonchalantly against the wall. He had pulled his Snitch out of his bag and was lazily tossing it up in the air. She turned to Lily, who was doing her best not to blush in front of her best friend. "Everything all right?"

"Later, okay?" Lily whispered quietly. Louder, she said, "Yeah, we gotta go! You're right, we're gonna be late for Potions! C'mon, James, you probably shouldn't irritate Professor Slughorn on your first lesson."

"Aw, old Sluggy? You can just put in a good word for me, can't you?" James grinned.

"Shut up, Potter," Lily retorted. "Let's just go." With that, she nodded to Marlene and swept out of the common room.

xxxxxxx

After dinner that night, Lily hurried upstairs to Gryffindor Tower. She couldn't believe she'd been assigned three essays just today. _N.E.W.T. teachers don't joke around._ She entered the common room, intending to sit right down and get to work, but every chair and table were filled by students and their schoolwork. Lily growled in frustration, wondering where she would study that night, before mentally slapping herself. _How about the Lounge, you idiot?_ She grabbed the key, which hung from the ribbon around her neck, and opened the stone door. Thankfully, James was still downstairs, so she would be uninterrupted. Sighing, she sat down in a plush armchair at a wooden table, lit some candles, and got to work.

After about an hour, Lily felt her eyelids drooping. She tried vainly to stay awake and focus on her Potions essay about engorging agents, but the comfy chair and silence of the Lounge lulled her into a light sleep.

Only about half an hour later, James entered the Lounge. He noted Lily, who was slumped over a desk with candles flickering over scrolls of parchment. He gently blew out her candles and moved to another part of the Lounge to work on his essays so as not to disturb her. Unfortunately, his plan to leave Lily sleeping was foiled by none other than Peter Pettigrew.

"JAMES!" Peter yelled from behind the Lounge door. "JAMES! ARE YOU IN THERE? IT'S TIME-"

Lily blearily cracked open an eye to see James hastily running over to the door. He opened it and hissed, "Stop it Peter! Shut up or everybody will notice we're up to something!" He cast a glance furtively over his shoulder at Lily, who had appropriately pretended to still be asleep. "And Lily's sleeping in here, you'll wake her up with your hollering. I just lost track of time, let me get my stuff." He left Peter waiting at the door as he scooped up some parchment, his wand, a large warm cloak, and a different silvery cloak out of his bag. He pulled the warm cloak on, put the other items in its pockets, blew out the candles, and slid the door shut behind him.

Lily waited for a moment, deliberating whether or not to find out what James was up to. Her curiosity won out; she grabbed her wand and quietly slid open the door to follow James and Peter. As she left the Lounge, she saw them leaving the portrait hole. She checked her watch, noting that she had an hour till seventh year curfew. _That's plenty of time to see what's going on._ She glanced around, making sure that no one was paying attention to her, and slipped out of the common room in pursuit.

She stayed a safe distance behind, darting between doorways and statues to keep out of sight. James and Peter headed immediately for the staircases, which were deserted. They walked briskly down towards the Great Hall, talking quietly, so Lily couldn't eavesdrop without getting seen. When they reached the entrance hall, they stopped and waited. Lily quietly crept behind the pillar they stood by to listen.

"Sirius went with him already, he said he'd be back by the time we got down," Peter murmured.

"Don't worry, he probably just ran after a cat or something," James said, leaning languidly against the pillar Lily hid behind. "Besides, the moon hasn't even risen yet. We've got some time. Anyway, did you grab some food?"

"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. I got some eclairs and Pumpkin Pasties."

"Awesome! I'm starving. Pass me a pasty."

The two boys stood in silence, eating pastries that smelled of delicious warm chocolate and pumpkin spice, while Lily's head turned trying to figure out what was going on. She didn't know who the 'him' was Peter mentioned, or why Sirius would be chasing cats, since he hated them. Her questions were partially answered when Sirius himself strolled up to James and Peter.

"Moony's situated, so let's go," he announced.

Shuffling sounds echoed around the hall. Lily peered around the pillar, trying to see what they were doing. James had pulled out his second cloak, and he wrapped it around himself and the two other boys. Then they disappeared from sight. _An Invisibility Cloak!_ Lily audibly gasped, immediately clapping a hand over her mouth and shrinking back behind the pillar. Unfortunately, Sirius had heard the gasp.

"Is someone here?" he asked loudly. "We've all got our wands on us, if some idiot is planning to jump us!"

"Shut up, Pads. It's probably nothing," James said. He slipped out from under the Cloak, appearing once again. "But if you're worried, I'll check it out. Go on ahead, make sure Moony doesn't transform alone." He ushered Sirius and Peter outside onto the grounds through a small wooden door and closed it softly behind them. He waited for a second and then turned towards the pillar. "You can come out now, Evans. I know you're there."

Lily's jaw dropped. She thought she had stayed hidden (although not silent) throughout the whole exchange. Nevertheless, she stepped meekly out from behind the pillar, blushing fiercely in embarrassment.

"How much did you hear?" James asked firmly. He didn't appear angry, but he was definitely not pleased to see Lily.

Quietly, she said, "I think all of it. I kind of… followed you out of the Lounge." Before James could get in a word edgewise, she hastily finished, "I just thought you were up to a prank, that's all. But I'm guessing it's something a little bit more than that."

"Well, you got that right," James admitted. "Look, I don't have a lot of time, but just understand I'm only telling you this so you won't go snooping around on your own. It's really not my thing to say, but you've already heard parts of it. And you have to _swear_ not to say anything to anyone, ever."

Lily slowly nodded in agreement. She couldn't understand what was so important, but she was willing to listen to whatever James had to say.

He took a deep breath, as if preparing himself. "Okay, so long story short, Remus was bitten by a werewolf when he was five, I think? Four or five. Anyway, he is obviously afflicted with lycanthropy now, as you can imagine. So every full moon, he's taken to the Shrieking Shack. When we-me, Sirius, and Peter-found out, we figured out a way to be there with Remus and support him. So we were leaving to our rendezvous point just now. And I'm sure you can understand why you can _not_ tell anyone. Remus…" James hesitated. "Remus has a rough life already, without anyone else knowing about his furry little problem, as we call it. So you absolutely _cannot_ tell anyone."

Lily stood silently, processing the shocking information. Out of everything she had imagined Potter would get up to, running around with a werewolf every full moon, who happened to be none other than Remus Lupin, was definitely not on the list. She stared at James, who waited for her reaction. He looked composed, but Lily noticed he was fidgeting nervously with his cloak. Lily realized she had never understood just how much he cared for his friends, and now he was scared she would ruin Remus's life.

Slowly she said, "James, of _course_ I won't tell a soul. Remus deserves to be happy, without people bothering him about his, oh, what did you call it? A furry little problem? The only thing bothering me is that you and your friends stay around a fully transformed werewolf, and I just want to know you'll be safe."

James breathed out a quiet sigh of relief at Lily's response. He stopped fidgeting with his robe and checked his watch. "I really need to go, Evans, the moon is almost up. Just trust me that we know how to take care of ourselves, okay? One day, perhaps I can even tell you of our misadventures under the light of the moon." With that cryptic statement, James flashed her a grin and then ran out of the castle through the small side door, out into the dark night, leaving Lily confused yet more intrigued in James Potter than ever.


	6. Stupid Feelings

Chapter 6

In the Great Hall the next morning, Lily sat alone at the long table, enjoying her relative solitude. A quieter than usual murmur of chatter buzzed around the room since it was early. The sun's rays had just begun to peek through the high stained glass windows, painting the room with a honeyed hue. Even though Lily loved hanging out with her friends, she needed some time today to refresh her mind, especially after the craziness of the last day.

Her reverie was broken when Marlene cheerily plopped down next to her and grabbed a piece of warm toast. As she began to butter it, Marlene casually said, "So you never told me what you and James were doing in the common room yesterday."

Lily stared at her friend, wondering how Marlene had seen her run after James last night, before remembering that Marlene had seen them before Potions earlier in the day. She covered up her hesitation with a quick coughing fit, pretending she had choked on her eggs- _Smooth, real smooth, you idiot_ -then she explained about the Lounge and how she and James had just been looking around.

" _Just_ exploring? Sure, and I'm Merlin's long-lost daughter. It seems like you and James are always running into each other," Marlene commented. "Are you sure he's not still into you?"

"No, no way," Lily insisted. "Really, if anything, he's just trying to seem like a decent human being after hexing Severus. It's a nice change of pace, and I thought he was just putting on a show, but then…" She trailed off before she accidentally revealed about what happened last night. "Anyway, I'm just gonna put up with him, I guess. It can't be too bad."

"He is pretty nice," Marlene said knowingly. "And a good Quidditch player. And handsome. And-"

"Okay, okay, I get it, you think he fancies me!" Lily laughed. "Again, no way! Besides, I have more important things to focus on, like class."

Marlene snorted derisively. "Yeah, because that's what's gonna make you happy. When was the last time you snogged someone, Lils? Maybe some snogging that would open your eyes to life beyond class."

"Very funny. Maybe I don't _need_ a boy in my life to be happy. I'm doing just fine, thank you very much."

"If you say so," Marlene said. "Myself, I enjoy some snogging every now and again." She shamelessly stared at the Slytherin table, where Ian McKinnon was laughing with some friends.

"What!" Lily gasped, smacking her friend on the arm. "When?"

Marlene smirked. "At break yesterday. He's a rather good kisser, if I do say so myself. I mean, did you _really_ think I forgot my quills in the common room? I had to go fix my makeup before class."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me! But I'm happy for you. He's quite a catch."

"Don't I know it. I've been getting glares from that Nancy girl in Hufflepuff who pined after him all last year. I don't know how she figured out we made out, but oh well. I get the feeling there will be more of it in the future," Marlene said slyly.

"And why is that?"

"He already asked me to Hogsmeade, even though the first trip is still a month away. Oh, and we were snogging outside the Hall before we came in."

Lily laughed at that. "You're absolutely crazy, Marlene, you know that?"

"Oh yeah," Marlene said happily.

"So I guess that adds you to the couples' list? Let's see, we've got Alice and Frank, Emmeline and David, and now you and Ian. Poor Mary and me, I suppose we'll just have to gorge ourselves at Honeydukes alone now," Lily said jokingly.

"Ah, but that gives me all the more reason to set you up with James," Marlene said. "Look, here he comes now!" She pointed at the entrance to the Hall, where Peter and Sirius came in, yawning and smoothing down their messy heads of hair. "Wait, he's not with Sirius," Marlene said confusedly. "Huh. I wonder where he is."

Lily knew where he had been all night, but she didn't know why James wasn't with his friends now. As Sirius sat nearby at the table and sluggishly grabbed some eggs and bacon, Lily called out, "Hey, Sirius! Where's Potter?"

Without looking up, Sirius said in annoyance, "What do you want now, Evans? He's not coming down yet."

"Oh, so he's in the common room?" Lily asked.

"Not exactly." Sirius eyed her shrewdly. "Why do you want to know?"

"No reason." Lily shrugged. "Just wondering." She turned to Marlene, who raised her eyebrow at Lily.

"I thought you _didn't_ want to talk to Potter. What was that?" Marlene asked.

"I was just curious," Lily said quickly. "Like you said, he usually comes down with Sirius." She pretended to check the time, and stood up. "I guess I gotta go back to the dormitories. I still have, uh, Potions to do. I fell asleep before I finished it."

"Can't it wait? I feel like I just sat down," Marlene said.

"I think I see Mary coming down, so you won't be by yourself. I'll see you in Herbology?"

"Yeah, okay," Marlene said. "See ya."

xxxxxxxx

Lily scanned the common room, confirming Sirius's statement that James wasn't in here… at least not exactly. She pulled the Lounge key out of her pocket and opened the door. Inside the Lounge, morning sunlight streamed in and lit up the room, showing that the small bathroom door was ajar. She could hear clattering and muffled thumps coming from it, or rather, from James.

"Hey, Potter, it's Lily!" she called out. "I'm just checking in…."

Her voice fell when she pushed open the door and saw the scene in the bathroom. James was standing in front of the mirror, shirtless, dabbing a rag covered in foul-smelling yellow liquid on a gigantic bloody bruise that was laced by several cuts on his side. His face, which was covered in dirt, was twisted in a grimace of pain. A mess of clothes lay around him on the floor, with twigs and pine needles sticking out of them. When he saw Lily, he guiltily hid the rag behind his back and pushed his glasses up his nose.

"H-hey, Evans," he said shakily. "What're you doing here?"

"Um, well," Lily stammered. She took a deep breath, collecting herself. She did _not_ like looking at open wounds, but she wasn't going to leave James by himself to deal with this mess. "Why I'm here doesn't matter, because you are going to sit down on that toilet, now," she commanded.

James opened his mouth in protest, but Lily firmly guided him to the toilet and sat him down. She went to the open cabinet by the mirror and fetched bandages, clean cloths, and some random bottles. She studied their labels, trying to figure out what they did. The nasty yellow liquid was labeled Essence of Dittany, which she recognized. The others were various potions that were intended for medicinal use which she mostly had worked with before.

"So, uh, do you know what to use? I wasn't sure what to do," James admitted.

"All right," Lily thought for a moment. "Let's finish up with the dittany. At least you remembered that it helps close wounds."

James nodded, exhausted by the pain. Lily quickly wet a clean rag in the dittany and began to softly dab it on the bruise. James flinched ever so slightly with each touch.

"Are you sure this is helping? I don't remember that it caused this much pain." Lily asked worriedly.

"Yeah, yeah, it's helping close the cuts, but it hurts like hell," James said.

"Okay, just let me get this last bit," Lily said as she gently touched the lowest cut, which nearly reached his hip bone. She blushed as she took note of the V formed by James' lower abs, and carefully kept her fingertips from brushing his skin. _This is so inappropriate. Merlin's beard, you're bandaging him up! Focus!_ To try and talk James (and herself) through it, Lily asked, "So what happened to you last night? And don't tell me you tripped or anything. I'm the clumsy one, remember?"

James gave a short chuckle, cut off by a sharp inhale of pain. "Ouch. Laughing hurts. Okay, well, we were out in the forest-"

"Wait _what_?" Lily interrupted.

"Where else do you think Remus goes when he's transformed? He has to hunt."

"But you were out there _with_ him? You could have died!" Lily gestured to the massive bruise. "This already happened, at least it wasn't worse!"

"Ah, don't worry about me, Evans," James said. "We always take, shall we say, _precautions_ , and guard ourselves with tons of spells. Besides, Remus didn't do this to me. A, um, unicorn came near us, and we were trying to deter it from getting closer to Remus. It mostly left Sirius and Peter alone, and ended up slamming me into a tree. A bloody _unicorn_ did this to me."

Lily almost laughed, but she stifled it in courtesy of James, who looked incredibly embarrassed by getting beaten by a unicorn. Instead, she just nodded sympathetically and went back to the cabinet to examine the potions again. She grabbed a Soothing Potion, which would numb the area a bit. She selected another clean cloth and began to apply it to to James's cuts.

He sighed in relief as the pain slipped away. "Thank you so much, Evans. I just…." His voice died out and he slumped over. Lily dropped the potion, shattering the flask on the floor, and barely caught him before he fell off the toilet. She managed to lean him against the wall temporarily and stepped back, trying to figure out what happened.

"Crap, crap, crap," Lily muttered. She realized that when Soothing Potion and Essence of Dittany were mixed, the dittany amplified the numbing effects and could knock the person out. "How could I have forgotten that!" she cried out. She stood there, paralyzed, unsure what to do. Soothing Potion and broken glass covered most of the tiled floor, James's bloody rags filled the sink, and James himself was unconscious, for who knew how long. She took deep breaths, trying to steady herself so that she could deal with the situation. _Curse you, Potter!_

Lily started to slowly clean up the bathroom. She Vanished the broken glass and Soothing Potion so that she could walk around safely. She then dumped all the bloody rags, along with James's dirty shirt and cloak, in a small basket that she found under the sink so that she could ask a house-elf to clean them. Then she put away the extra bottles that were still scattered around the sink. James was still unconscious, so she carefully bandaged his cuts. She slapped him gently on the face a couple times, making sure that he was really knocked out, then hesitantly got a damp rag and wiped the dirt off of his face and glasses. His tan, handsome face looked peaceful as he slept. He had no worries creasing his brow, or any devilish ideas leading to a smirk on his face. Lily smiled a bit at the sight before quickly turning away and going out into the main room of the Lounge and shifting the blankets off of the grey couch. She went back into the bathroom, raised her wand, and murmured, " _Locomotor Potter_." James's body lifted slowly into the air and lay prone about three feet in the air. She carefully levitated him over the couch and set him down softly. She laid a soft white blanket over him and set his glasses on the table next to the couch, then quietly slid open the door and left the Lounge.

xxxxxxxxxx

Lily wandered aimlessly about the castle, passing clumps of people waiting outside their classrooms. She wasn't sure exactly what she was doing, but she knew she couldn't be there when James woke up. She couldn't stand another minute of him turning her head, with his intense gaze, his tales of courage in the Forbidden Forest running after a werewolf, his jokes and his laugh, his unexpected kindness… Lily just couldn't understand why her mind got all muddled around him. She had kept a tolerable distance from him during sixth year, and before that she couldn't even stand him. Now he was showing a completely different side of himself, from the scoundrel and prankster he usually presented himself as. _Why do I even let him have this much hold on my thoughts? It's just idiot Potter, just like normal._ Lily was so annoyed by her own thoughts that when she saw Sirius Black walking toward her on the staircase she was descending, she huffed and turned around to leave. Unfortunately, the staircase had already started moving and detached from the landing.

"Aaghh, my day just gets better and better!" Lily cried out.

Sirius stopped in front of Lily, smirking. "And what made _your_ day so horrible, Evans?"

"Leave me alone, Black. I've had enough dealing with Potter and his friends today," Lily growled. She stalked past Sirius, but he just pivoted and walked along with her.

"Aw, what did James do now? Did he breathe too loudly? Did he toss his hair the wrong way? Did-"

"Shut _up_!" Lily yelled out, startling a younger student that was walking past them. "Don't you realize not everything is a joke? I just spent half an hour bandaging James up from your _adventures_ last night! He was really hurt and you did nothing to help him!"

"Wait, wait, wait," Sirius halted Lily. He motioned her over into an empty side hallway and quietly asked, "You mean James was hurt?"

"Well, duh, he had this massive bruise and a bunch of bleeding scratches on his side…" Lily realized what had happened. "You didn't know."

"The nerve of him, I swear," Sirius said in frustration. "No, I did know he got slammed into a tree, but he said he was fine other than a little scratch. That's why he stayed in the common room… the _punk_." Sirius looked like he was ready to fight someone as he demanded, "Where is he now?"

"Um, funny story, you see. I kind of, erm, knocked him out," Lily admitted. "It was an accident though!" She waited for Sirius to get angry at her, but after a moment of silence, he just started laughing. He threw his head back with large, gasping laughs.

"You….You knocked him out? Merlin's beard, Evans!"

"It's not as if I _punched_ him or anything," Lily said sullenly. "I just accidentally gave him the wrong potion."

"But you're supposed to be the best potioneer in our year! How in the world did you give James the wrong potion?" Sirius asked incredulously.

"I don't know!" Lily said defensively. "I panicked, I guess! He was just bleeding everywhere and it was a mess and he was in pain and-" A small, choking sob cut off her frenzied words.

"Whoa there, Evans," Sirius said, awkwardly putting a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure James will be just fine."

"Yeah, yeah," Lily muttered. "I just don't know why he _bothers_ me so much."

"Ah, Evans, that doesn't sound like he bothers you," Sirius said slowly. "It sounds like you maybe… _like_ him?"

Lily looked up at Sirius in puzzlement. "Well of course I like him, we're friends now. I was just worried about him."

"No, no," Sirius laughed. "I don't mean you like him, I mean you _like_ him." He raised his eyebrow suggestively.

Lily suddenly realized what Sirius was saying. "Nuh-uh. No way. Not a chance."

"You sure are prickly about it," Sirius said. "I mean, look at the evidence. You two are now working together pretty closely, especially after owling all summer. You went looking for him this morning, and when you saw him hurt, you freaked out more than you normally would. That's definitely indicating something beyond platonic friendship."

"I-what-no!" Lily sputtered. "And how do you know about the owling?"

"I stayed at the Potters' for the summer," Sirius shrugged. "Whenever James gets a letter, he gets really excited. So we all knew when he was owling somebody."

"Oh." Lily just stood there, trying to wrap her head around the possibility of romantic attraction to James Potter. She refused to think that Sirius was right. "Okay, maybe you're mistaking this. Maybe you're just projecting James's feelings onto me."

"Well, that might be hard, seeing as I don't think he carries that flame for you anymore," Sirius said. "That's why he tried to date around last year, you know. He wanted to stop getting trapped by his feelings for you. Now he just really tries to be your friend so that you don't hate him."

"That's silly," Lily said, flustered. "I don't hate him!"

"James seemed to think otherwise, especially after you saw him hex Snape."

"Yeah, I guess that did get me really upset. Especially after the night before-"

"Wait, the night before?" Sirius interrupted. "He said he was down in the kitchens that night just grabbing snacks."

"No, he took me down to the kitchens to get food after we moved all that luggage," Lily explained. "We were just hungry, and we ended up talking for a while."

"James didn't mention that he was with you," Sirius said thoughtfully. "I'll just have to see…"

"See what?" Lily asked.

"Nothing. Look, I gotta go see if James is all right, that idiot. I'd think about your friendship with him, if I were you." Sirius clapped Lily on the back. "Good talk, Evans. See ya around." He left her standing in an empty classroom, her feelings thoroughly jumbled.


End file.
